What once consumed us, makes us stronger
by DankeGott9
Summary: Kiku's starting to have those dreams again, involving a certain American and a certain Pacific war. Will paying Alfred a trip make anything better? Or lead him spiraling back into the life that Japan once lived? Full of deception and lies? Story better than the summary, also my first story! Hetalia Axis Powers doesn't belong to me, look forward to better chapters!


"_Kiku, bro!" the voice of a loud American erupted through the halls of the meeting conference. It seemed like just yesterday that Kiku would have smiled back that soft smile to show his politeness.  
"Hello, America-san. Aren't you just a bit early? You're normally late to these meetings." This left the Japanese male with a rather confused look on his face, but none the less he smiled and went back to filling out a short stack of papers before him on the table in his own language, this, of course, peaked the American's short attention span as sapphire eyes focused over Japan's shoulder.  
"You're language is sweet, Japan! But, English is better." Almost as if it was a stated fact, Alfred nodded his head as his arms found themselves crossed. Of course his language was better, he thought, it actually had letters. Oh Alfred.  
"Well," Kiku started, his lips curling into a slight frown as he shook his head, then returned the smile. "America isn't better than my country at everything, you know."  
That is what sent Alfred over the edge, his face turning into a scowl. "What do you mean?" He snapped, voice sharper and more...Hurtful than normal. "I am the hero, after all." Japan had probably heard that line well over a thousand times, but something about the way it was retorted at him caused shivers to dance swiftly up the length of his spine. He opened his mouth to speak…_

But, before he could get a response it seemed as if someone turned off the lights, causing the startled man to stand, though, it had seemed the floor had vanished beneath him. Like it was swallowed up by this black, misty abyss that was threatening to pull Kiku under... which it had. It seemed as if he couldn't breathe, call it shock, or confusion, or simply the fact that the air had been knocked from his lungs with a rough hit to the ground. That was it, and his vision went black, his chest constricting as deep, chocolate brown eyes rolled back… what was happening, was the last thought that crossed his mind.

It was a few more moments of engulfing black and blank thoughts before the Japanese male was physically able to open his eyes. There he stood, in a place he prayed he'd never have to return to. Just seeing it made his chest swell, his heart pounding so hard against his rib cage it was like he wouldn't be able to control it ever again, like it was a wild stallion that just gained its freedom and was never going to turn back. There he stood, surrounded by soot and ash, raining down over him like a light, morning mist that one would feel. And, he was standing nowhere else but in, what used to be, Nagasaki, Japan. There it was again, that horrible pain in his chest that Kiku could no longer take. His heavy breathes turned into panting as he tried to control the pain, but slowly and surely, a thick red liquid began to soil his white uniform, covering mainly his upper torso and sides as he fell to the ground with the world swirling in a thick, blurry blaze of images around him. He knew Alfred was cocky but this… Maybe because of Pearl Harbor, or because of the war they were currently in, but right now wasn't the time to pin point why, it was time to take care of himself and his people, that's what a strong nation like himself would do. It honestly took all the strength he could muster to simply pull himself together enough to get to his knees, and for one hand to come flying up over his rapidly beating chest as heavy breathing continued. Now, his dark eyes looked out over the ash covered ruins of his land, this shouldn't have happened, is what he was thinking. Alfred had become a monster ever since the war started, they used to have peace treaties, and friendship bonds between their counties. This wasn't the Alfred he knew so well. It wasn't. Before he even had the chance to register anything further, he was slipping back into the darkness, falling, falling… as his eyes began to close…

"Kiku! Dammit, Kiku, wake up! You're having a nightmare again!"

That was the voice that woke Japan. Instantly, the petit yet strong figure sat up in bed, every visible part of his body shaking, probably as well as the ones under his scrunched up blankets also. It felt as if every organ that his body held was trying to claw its way out of Kiku's being through his constricting throat, causing salty tears to jerk at his eyes as he gasped. Another nightmare about the Pacific war… goodie.

"Thank you, Germany-san… I need to run a few errands, I will return later."

With that said, Japan nearly lunged out of his bed, trying to push away the uncomfortable thoughts that he was getting about Nazi Germany, his ally for a while it seemed, seeing him in his sleeping attire. It was embarrassing, and a major pet peeve he had held for very long. It wasn't his fault he was shy about his body.

Once Japan had gotten dressed, his normal white uniform on which seemed to be ironed free of every wrinkle, crease and cleaned of every stain it'd ever had – no sign of any blood to be found from anytime in the past. It wasn't the smartest idea, but it'd been years since him and America spoke… Maybe Japan opening himself up once to what once a true friend might cause a decent outcome for once. Maybe. Without a second thought though, Japan had his coat on and was heading out the door to visit the person he'd fought with for so long, so bitterly and hatefully with. America. Just the name brought a lump to his throat, a delicate hand coming to rest over the chest of his jacket, though no one could see it, Japan was fully aware of what rested beneath this fabric, his scares from the bombings so many years ago.

He might not have been quite a religious person, but he couldn't help but pray that today would bring no more scars, and that he'd stick up for his country. Japan was one of the strongest countries, but America… America was pretty intimidating.

With his thoughts eating away at every last nerve and patient cell he had in his body, it couldn't help but want to slow the movement of his dreaded feet, which were commanding him to stop, yet Japan ignored them. Ignored everyone that would tell him this was wrong. This was Alfred he was dealing with. An old friend.

Believe it or not, but long ago, also his lover.


End file.
